Homecoming

Thursday, December 15th

HAPPY DAY! Blade is home!

WAITING.....

 

 

Poor guy. He wasn't sure who the crying woman who threw herself at him was.

Best buddies -- Ty and Blade. Ty just returned from his mission to Brazil last month.

What a cute family!

I love my boys!

Blade and Grandpa Tolman

Blade and Grandma Merrell

I don't want to hear anymore!!!

More on the continuing drama....Just in case anyone cares....lol

Last week my ex-husband's wife wrote to me again. I hadn't heard from her since she had decided that he had miraculously changed and that she was taking him back. Fine with me. Her letter was filled with hurt and confusion and dismay. I guess he hasn't changed. No surprise there! So I wrote back to her and said, "Sorry, I warned you". (Who doesn't like to throw in a little "I told you so"?) I responded to the things she wrote about and then I said, "I understand why you write to me. No one else in the world really understands what you are going through, but me. But honestly, unless you need advice on how to get him out of your life, (which is the only successful thing I ever did with him) then please don't write to me any more. Good Luck..."

Poor thing. 

However, he has gone home to his son's wedding, so this is the perfect time to be rid of him. She still hasn't filled out his immigration papers. It would be SO EASY. Wonder if she will have the courage?

Putting the garden to bed.....

I love gardening. 

There is nothing like turning a brown patch of earth into lush greenery that I eventually harvest into delicious, nutritious, organic food. 

I love the sunshine and breathing the fresh air while I'm at it. 

I love the hard work, and even the weariness that I take to bed with me at night that sends me into a deep sleep. 

I love wrestling with the tiller and feeling the strength of my muscles. 

I love the heat soaking into me and the sweat cleansing me. 

I love sitting in my chair and relaxing as I wait for a tree to be watered and then moving on to the next. 

I love talking to the plants, admiring them and encouraging them. 

I even love picking off the squash bugs twice a day and feeling like a mama protecting her charges, until they are big enough and strong enough to survive.

I love planting a fruit tree and feel great satisfaction when the leaves start to bud in the weeks that follow. I love the feeling of faith and hope that one must have in planting a fruit tree.

I love eating my lunch on the move; picking ripe cherry tomatoes and popping them into my mouth for a burst of deliciousness, munching a green bell pepper, a few green beans, even a ripe ear of corn. Have you ever eaten a raw ear of corn? It is a sweet treat!

I love picking the eggplants, until I have bags and bags of purple beauty. 

I love digging up potatoes, a first for me this year, and feeling like I'm digging for treasure--what fun! 

I love discovering that I did something right, and wondering if anyone else in the whole world already knows about what I just learned. 

I love it when people stop to admire my garden and we chat about our gardens and sometimes swap tips and produce. 

I love the challenge of finding a better way to do something than I did it before.

I love finding ladybugs and their babies, and I invite them to stay. 

I love the bees. My dad kept bees when I was young and I was fascinated by them. In my garden, I talk to them and thank them for their work. I tell them to carry on, that I won't bother them if they don't bother me. And they don't. I talk to the grasshoppers too, after I have caught them. I tell them to stop squirming because they have been invited to lunch with Chance's salamanders today.

I love having my sons out there working beside me, contributing. Hoping that even though they grumble, maybe someday they will be grateful that I taught them to work, and maybe they will even love to garden as much as I do.

And I love the fall, when its time to put the garden to bed. When the season's work is done. When you think you don't ever want to see another tomato in your life. When the produce has all been picked, processed, stored or eaten. When its time to rest.....

and dream about and plan for next year.

Learning the hard way...

In one of my posts I mentioned some drama about my ex-husband and his new wife. That story ended happily, but I forgot how compelling, manipulative, controlling and deceitful he can really be. So after apologizing and sweet talking her for weeks, she took him back. 

All I can say is "GOOD LUCK HONEY!!!" She believes that he has changed. WOW! Wish I could make miraculous changes in such a short amount of time. I guess what is bothering me so much is that her oldest daughter found me on facebook and started talking to me. She is in despair that her mother is taking him back. If she won't listen to me and wants to learn the hard way, FINE, but it is unfortunate that her young children have to live through it.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

It is homecoming week at Delta High school. Since Chance is in the Senior class presidency, he and his friends were in charge of decorating the senior class hall. They have a super hero theme this year. The freshman are Captain America, Sophomores are Superman, Juniors are Spiderman, and Seniors are Batman. It's been a lot of work but I think they are having fun.

Ahhhhhhhgggg! Ahhhhhhhgggg!

Just when I thought I my life and my mental health was back to normal (after the divorce) then I'm thrown this curve ball.

A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans

On Tuesday, I discovered I had a message on facebook. I never received an email message about it and so it was 2 weeks old. It was from a woman who was wanting to ask me some questions about my ex husband, his personality, etc. I immediately sent her a message back with my phone number, hoping that it was NOT TOO LATE! The next day I got a message from her, telling me that they had met online 5 years ago, and then this spring met online again and she MARRIED HIM!!! (that's where the very loud ahhhhhhggg comes in!) She lives in Canada and they eloped. He moved in with her, hasn't worked, has been tormenting her and her kids like he did me and mine! She called me on Thursday and we talked for nearly 2 hours. It was total deja vu talking to her. He learned nothing from our marriage. I now feel vindicated in divorcing him after 9 months. He will not change! We began emailing back and forth, she was extremely confused. I told her that it was NOT HER! I told her that she needed to get out fast before she lost her kids, her mental health and more of her precious time and resources. I told her that it would NOT get better, only worse. That night they had a fight and he kept her up all night, and she has to go to work at 5 in the morning. I guess he figured he was in the dog house so he used his 8 hours of doing nothing time to write her a 17 -- YES I SAID SEVENTEEN -- page letter! She sent it to me through email. I read it all and it was his usual BS. I then sent her a few of his letters to me so that she could see that this was a pattern. I told her that I was a lot more compliant than she has been, and he was still critical and unhappy with me. So last night she told him she was done. 

Then this morning I got a phone call and I thought it was her. It was Lane! Thus the second Ahhhhhhhgggg! I got a chance to yell at him a bit but he said he only called me to ask me one thing...."When you talked to her, did you say any of the good things about me?" I said NO! (I should have said H--- NO!  Or, what good things? ) He then told me that this was none of my business, and I replied that she had contacted me. He then said that she was not my stewardship and that I would have to answer to God for it someday. Then he hung up.

The good news is that she emailed me tonight and told me that she discovered that Lane and the minister both forgot to sign the marriage certificate, so luckily she won't have to go through any legal red-tape. Her bishop came and got him out of her home and told her that she had been deceived and to disregard any crap he had fed her, which is his version of the gospel.

This post is red and bold because I have been pretty pissed off all day. And for a while I felt the same anxiety I felt when he was in my life.    It was icky!

JERK!

First day of school

My boys all ready for their first day of school. August 17, 2011

Chance's Eagle Project

This was the best Eagle project EVER! Not because it was the best project, but that it was over and done with in 2 weeks from start to finish. We still have the paper work to do, but from idea, to planning, to getting approval signatures, to the actual work, was only 2 weeks. AWESOME! Wanna know the secret? Call your elementary school principle (or any school principle for that matter) 2 weeks before school starts and most likely he will have something that he needs done before school starts. And having a short time limit is the best thing to light a fire under your teen boy who would rather go play.

BEFORE

This curb is yellow.....

Painting the "Time Out" box

The littlest helper

The smaller playground

...and this curb is green.

The fire drill line

4 square court

Tether ball

Hopscotch anyone?

Lovely stencil work huh?

A work of art!

The happy results of hard work

Remember this?

 This is what it looks like now!

We have harvested yellow and zucchini squash, tomatoes, peppers, cabbage, beets, radishes, broccoli, green beans, basil, parsley, sage, cucumbers, and the corn is coming on. The celery and eggplant are growing well. The potatoes plants are growing great but we won't see what lies underground for a few months yet. I've got about 30 granny Smith apples, and 2 golden delicious...lol! Probably won't get any melons, (boo hoo!) but the pumpkins and spaghetti squash are growing like gangbusters! The green that you see on the right side of the garden is alfalfa. The soil isn't very good on that side so I'm growing a cover crop to try to  improve it. I was going to do the whole east side but it is a lot of work when your tiller is only 10 inches wide! Oh well. There is always next year.

I love to garden!

2011 River Trip

Every year, my brother-in-law plans a Snake River rafting trip. Some years we go, some years we don't, This year we went, although I was nervous about it because of the wet, cold spring we had. I didn't want to camp in the cold or the mud. But it turned out to be a fun trip. We left on Wednesday and stopped at my good friend Sandy's house. She lives about 1/2 hour from the river. We spent the night and then she gave us a tour of the mine she works at the next day. Later we joined my family at the campsite.

The view from Sandy's house in Auburn, WY.

 

This is what Sandy drives. What fun!

Sandy and Elise

A view from the top

The river was deeper, faster and different this year. After 6 out of 9 passengers were dumped out of the boat on the first run, including the guide, I opted out this year. I just don't like being cold and wet and scared.

So, it was 2 years ago, July 5th that I met Lane for the first time. The river trip was the first time that my family met him. So I thought that I'd use this trip as a symbolic time to purge. During our relationship, I had made a book of memories, pictures and love letters. I found some quiet time in the mornings in front of the fire and burned it, page by page. This was the last page I burned. I took a picture of it, and if Lane ever bothers me again, I will send it to him.

Happy Birthday Elijah!

Magic candles!

June 2011

 Afro Boy!

 A flock of something that has been hanging about the neighborhood.

Nearly as big as eagles but not sure that they are. 

Besides, eagles don't usually hang out in such large groups. 

We have counted as many as 10.

 Elijah lost his 2 front teeth.....and his marbles too!

 Cool idea, but something seems to be wrong...

The garden is all planted, plus 10 new trees.

There's my 2 best rock-picker-uppers!

Easter 2011

Since Easter always coincides with our spring break, my kids like to go invade the homes of friends or family. This year we picked my sister Melodee and her family. Her 16 year old son and Chance are buddies, her cute little 10 year old daughter gets along well with Elijah, and her 13 year old son hangs out with Dallin. 

Anyway, I walked in the door and they were painting. How fun! But I had to steal them away for awhile to help me hunt for a new vehicle. Our van's transmission died a few weeks ago and since it has over 200,000 miles on it, I'm not too keen on resurrecting it. Besides, I have been wanting a car with better gas economy, so this was the time. I ended up getting a Toyota Camry in great shape with low mileage. And I got it for free!!! Really. Actually Karl Malone Toyota should be grateful that I am so honest. Who knows how long it would have been before they noticed that I drove off without paying for it. Seriously. They forgot to ask, and I forgot to write the check. And when I went back on Monday, nobody had even noticed.

 Easter with my handsome sons!

 Out on a Sunday stroll

Grandma with 6 of her 26 grandkids

Sunday was kind of fun because we went to the Ward that I grew up in. A couple that I have known since I was 5 years old had just returned from their mission to Sweden. It was great to see a few people that I still knew.

On Monday, I helped Melodee paint. I got to do the edging, which I actually enjoy.

Not a bad way to spend your spring break. Accomplishing things and spending time with those that you love.

Spring......and exhaustion!

The garden is all tilled and ready to go.

I love Spring! 

The salad greens bed. 

I planted lettuce, green onions, radishes, and the 

spinach was all volunteer from last fall. 

I transplanted it to this bed. 

It wasn't very happy with being moved 

but I'm hoping it will rally.

This is what I did today, and boy am I pooped!

143 strawberry plants.

Once the columbine bloom, and the hostas come up, 

this will be a beautiful flower and rock garden.

And even though my body aches all over, it's okay. Working outside with the plants, in the dirt, is my favorite thing. And going to bed tired is good, because I fall right to sleep. . . . zzzzzzzzzz

Therapy

Today I decided to get outside. It was still cool, and I hate being cold, but I couldn't stand being cooped up in the house a moment longer. The picture is of the third acre that I own across the street. Probably the best thing I have ever invested in. It has been a good family project and is great therapy for me.

This will be the third year we grow a garden in it. It has been marvelous! As you can see the spring weeds are threatening to take over. But no worries, there is a nice, older gentleman in town who will trade a good tractor tilling for a window cleaning job on his house. I just went out and pulled up the weeds along the edges of the east fence. You wouldn't think that pulling weeds would make good therapy, but it works wonders for me. It may have something to do with the fresh air and sunshine, eh?

Elijah said...

On Sunday, Elijah said something that let me know that I am not the only one that feels Bishop Rempp was special and misses him. Sacrament meeting had just started and the new Bishop was on the stand. 

Elijah said, 

     "So that is the new bishop." 

I said

     "Yep." 

     "What happened to Bishop Rempp?"

     "He is now the Stake President."

     "What is that?"

     "He takes care of all the wards in our stake."

     "Will we ever see him again?"

     "Oh yes, he is still in our ward. We will see him sometimes.

     "Will we ever hear him talk again?

     "Sure, during Stake Conference."

 Then he just looked at me for a few moments with his big brown eyes.

And so I said,

     "Did you like hearing him talk, Elijah?"

     "Yeah, sorta."

     "Me too."

General Conference

All I can say is, 

THANK GOODNESS FOR THE CONFERENCE ISSUE OF THE ENSIGN! 

For some reason, I was very distracted this weekend and did a lot of sleeping through conference. But lately I have been reading old issues of the conference editions of the Ensign almost as regularly as my scriptures. 

And I will tell you why.

I have been struggling this last month. I feel like all close male support has vanished from my life. My favorite Grandpa died in 2000, then 6 months later my dad died, then 2 1/2 years later my husband died. My second husband was such a disappointment, that relationship leaving emotional wounds that I wonder if ever will heal. Then the nail in the coffin.... My bishop, who has been a huge support to my family the last 7 years, was released last month. He saw us through the thick and the thin of it and his personality suited me very well. Also, our home teacher of the last 7 years, who was like a big brother to me, was changed. And so I am just feeling abandoned. I know God wants me to rely on him and the Savior, and I try. I know I have many great female friends, lovely sisters, and a mom who all love me and will listen to me any time, and they do. I have brothers-in-law and a brother who would drop anything to help me. I have a cousin who is my buddy and I can tell him anything. I am grateful for all of them, and somehow I will just have to be satisfied with that. But those important men in my life made such a huge impact on me, that now that they are gone, I feel the emptiness and sadness every day. I feel like I'm missing a part of my own self, and it hurts and I hate it!

So anyway, I read the conference issues of the Ensign and I feel comforted, like I have many loving Grandpas who are all rooting for me, and loving me unconditionally like my own granddad did.

 Granddad Myrup

  

Adam, My Sweetheart

My Dad, the best man I've ever known.

My Ex, and Bishop Rempp, the best Bishop I've ever had.

March 2011

Chance went to Jr. Prom with a cute gal named Haley. Jr Prom is a big deal in Delta. Chance said it was the best dance he has ever been to. Good thing because it was also the most expensive!

Isn't he handsome!!!

Dallin turned 12 on the 15th. 

Blade sent all the boys these fun hats!

We had a party for his friends the other night at the 

roller skating rink. WHAT GREAT FUN!

 

Elijah loves to roller skate and he's getting very good at it!

On the 26th, we went to a 90th birthday party for my Aunt Florine, my dad's oldest sister. Doesn't she look great?!!! It was a nice party. I saw some family that I haven't seen in years!