Elise and Adam's Family: General Conference

All I can say is,

THANK GOODNESS FOR THE CONFERENCE ISSUE OF THE ENSIGN!

For some reason, I was very distracted this weekend and did a lot of sleeping through conference. But lately I have been reading old issues of the conference editions of the Ensign almost as regularly as my scriptures.

And I will tell you why.

I have been struggling this last month. I feel like all close male support has vanished from my life. My favorite Grandpa died in 2000, then 6 months later my dad died, then 2 1/2 years later my husband died. My second husband was such a disappointment, that relationship leaving emotional wounds that I wonder if ever will heal. Then the nail in the coffin.... My bishop, who has been a huge support to my family the last 7 years, was released last month. He saw us through the thick and the thin of it and his personality suited me very well. Also, our home teacher of the last 7 years, who was like a big brother to me, was changed. And so I am just feeling abandoned. I know God wants me to rely on him and the Savior, and I try. I know I have many great female friends, lovely sisters, and a mom who all love me and will listen to me any time, and they do. I have brothers-in-law and a brother who would drop anything to help me. I have a cousin who is my buddy and I can tell him anything. I am grateful for all of them, and somehow I will just have to be satisfied with that. But those important men in my life made such a huge impact on me, that now that they are gone, I feel the emptiness and sadness every day. I feel like I'm missing a part of my own self, and it hurts and I hate it!

So anyway, I read the conference issues of the Ensign and I feel comforted, like I have many loving Grandpas who are all rooting for me, and loving me unconditionally like my own granddad did.

Granddad Myrup